Dust Off Your Feet

As we traverse through this time span called our lives, we are bound to encounter individuals or groups of individuals that need our help. It is inevitable that at some time, we will need assistance or encouragement for ourselves. There are people for whom it is a passion and purpose driven call to help others. There is seldom an occasion that you wouldn't be drawn to help; it is just how the wires are connected. Many of the self-care skills that are prescribed for the helping professions must also be applied to personal relationships. It is important to understand that true change will only occur when the individual decides to change. There will be times that you want better for a person than they have decided that they want for themselves. This may not be obvious from the outset, but in time, it will be made clear. 

And if a town refuses to welcome you, shake its dust from your feet as you leave to show that you have abandoned those people to their fate.

You will find that some people will only call or come around when they need some help. There will be some people who ask for your advice or guidance but will consistently ignore it. There will even be those people that you reach out to for a listening ear but in return you will get a litany of their issues, leaving you more burdened  than you initially were. 

It doesn't make much sense to continue to attempt to force change or enable negative habits and behaviors. What benefit is there to pushing against a brick wall?  How does it help when you are losing your voice or losing sleep then others are content with the paths they have chosen? While I'm never an advocate for 'giving up' on a person or situation, I do think that wisdom will show you when you have done all that you can do. There are even times when you can speak from a prophetic voice that people will turn a deaf ear. 

The hardest thing to do is to leave someone you care about to their own devices when unnecessary struggle, doom and gloom are imminent....but sometimes it is just necessary. It doesn't mean that you don't care. I am of the belief that as long as there is life, there is hope. Continue to hope....Continue to pray.

Love y'all!!!

COMMITTED

Remember the vows you made to your spouse on your wedding day. Remember the promises that you've made along the way. Don't forget the work, sacrifices, adjustments and tweaking  it took to get to this very moment. It seems pretty easy to get all dressed up (or not) and stand before God and guests and repeat after the officiant. I promise (vow) to love, honor, and cherish you, keeping myself only unto you. What does that really mean? Is it just tradition, a following of what's expected to be said?

To love according to 1 Corinthians 13, you are saying that you will be patient with your spouse, your will support and not be jealous of their successes, you will not boast of your accomplishments in a rude or arrogant way. You are committed to compromise, and being honest and truthful. You will not continually remind of past failures or errors. When you vow to love you vow to believe your spouse and believe in your spouse and endure with your spouse. This love is always available and never fails. 

To honors is  to regard or treat (someone) with admiration and respect. Greet your spouse when you see them. Don't call them names or speak negatively about them in public. Don't do anything to them that you would not want done to you.

To cherish is to hold dear, cultivate with care and affection. Don't take your spouse for granted. Treasure the time that you have been given to share. Ask a widow or widower what they would do for just a little more time. To keep myself only unto you- that's simple - DON'T CHEAT!!! Not physically, not emotionally. Don't  give other people any parts of your body, time or attention that are for your spouse! 

Take a moment to look at your wedding video or pictures to remind yourself why you said 'I Do' and who you said it to (somebody needed that reminder). 

Stay committed.

Love y'all!!!

BE ANGRY BUT SIN NOT

In my life, I have repeatedly found myself in situations where I was upset but then made to feel as though I had no right to be. I think we have all found ourselves in situations that caused us to feel angry. There seems to be an expectation for people not to become angry. If you get angry, you aren't kind. If you get angry, you couldn't possibly a Christian. These views could not be farther from the truth. I was once in a training for CBT (cognitive behavioral therapy) and the facilitator made a statement that made all of the sense in the world but I had never thought about it before then. Anger is not the initial emotion. Most people move to feeling anger after one of three - hurt, fear, or disappointment. These are all feelings that are acceptable and understandable, so why is not anger more understood? Why am I not allowed to feel anger and still be a good Christian person? Being a kind person does not mean that you don't hurt, you don't feel fear or you don't have expectations that sometimes don't get met. On any given day a person can encounter situations that could lead to feelings of anger.

                                                      

Ephesians 4:26-27King James Version (KJV)

26 Be ye angry, and sin not: let not the sun go down upon your wrath:

27 Neither give place to the devil.

Our responsibility lies in how we respond to the anger. Incorrect responses include but are not limited to retaliation, revenge, retribution, withdrawal, shutting down or internalizing. Recognize the source of the anger and process the feeling from there. Address the hurt, face the fear, verbalize your expectations. Find your peace and rest in it. 

Love Y'all!!!